Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Sports Night

Shout Factory has released a 10th anniversary edition of "Sports Night". If you have ever loved me (and can spare $60.99), please buy me this.

This television show was so beyond it's time and it's audience. When we found out it was going to be cancelled (it lasted from 1998 to 2000), my father tried to explain his best guess of why. He said that with a name like 'Sports Night', women thought, "Oh, another show about sports. Pass", and men thought, "Oh, another show about sports. Let's watch. Oh, it's a sitcom. Nevermind". This must have been somewhat accurate, because the show lived for far too short a time. Aaron Sorkin will always hold a soft, squishy place in my heart because of the wonder that is this show.

I leave you, now, with some brilliant quotes:

Dan: Sometimes it's worth it, taking all the pies in the face. Sometimes you come through it feeling good.
Casey: Yes.
Dan: And how was your day?
Casey: Sometimes you just stand there, hip deep in pie.

Jeremy: Fire me.
Isaac: What?
Jeremy: You heard me, I want you to fire me.
Isaac: I'm not going to fire you.
Jeremy: I'm a terrible worker, I'm the last to arrive and the first to leave.
Isaac: You're the first to arrive and the last to leave.
Jeremy: And don't you think that's a little strange?
Isaac: Yes.
Jeremy: I'm a racist.
Isaac: Jeremy...
Jeremy: I am, I'm a terrible racist. I think all those people with the funny accents and weird skin color should go back to wherever they came from and leave this country to the people who rightfully stole it from the Indians... which they deserved.
Isaac: Jeremy...
Jeremy: I'm serious, this country is being ruined by the blacks and the Jews.
Isaac: You're Jewish.
Jeremy: And I have to be stopped!

Casey: "October the Eighth, Nineteen Hundred and Ninety Eight, A.D." A.D.They're worried I might accidentally show up 2,000 years before the birth of Christ!

Natalie: On page 66, halfway down in the NFL injury report, it says "Collins is expected to miss practice this week, the result of a bulging disk."
Dan: Yeah?
Natalie: There's a typo on the TelePrompter. They left out the 's.'
Casey: Collins is expected to be sidelined a week to 10 days with a bulging di--Uh Oh!
Dan: Whoa! That's a big 10-4.
Casey: My next line in the script was "Let's go the videotape."
Natalie: We might have gotten some phone calls.

Dana: You have good ideas a lot. I find myself saying, "Natalie's got a good idea."
Natalie: But you also find yourself saying, "Natalie, if you screw that up again I'll set you on fire."

Dana: By the way, in the memos that are circulating, we're spelling Chattanooga about fourteen different ways. Now what do we know?
Jeremy: Two Os, three As.
Dana: That's it?
Jeremy: No, there are other letters, too.

Isaac: A couple of things. I am not quitting and I am not getting fired, not today and probably not tomorrow. Let me add, Dana, that things I say in my office stay in my office.
Dana: Natalie's my second in command. She's the only one I told.
Natalie: Jeremy's my boyfriend. He's the only one I told.
Jeremy: I told many, many people.

Dan: Can I spread it out for you in a nutshell?
Casey: No.
Dan: I can't?
Casey: No.
Dan: Why not?
Casey: 'Cause I'm tired of you mixing your metaphors. Spread it out for you in a nutshell? "How ya doin'? I'm a professional writer".

Dan: Eleven years ago, he pitched a perfect game.
Rebecca: A perfect game.
Dan: Yes, ma'am.
Rebecca: And a perfect game is good?
Dan: Listen, I know there's a lot of jargon, but some of these are pretty self-explanatory.

Casey: Alyson, did you know that I speak four languages?
Dan: You speak three languages.
Casey: I speak four languages.
Dan: You speak French, Spanish and German.
Casey: I dabble in a little English.

Dana: You're mad at me? You spend six months making me feel guilty for liking my job, then propose to me, then two days later, you tell me you slept with the woman who wants my job? I say fine. I say fine! Then six days after that, you tell me you wanna break off the engagement. Here's the thing. I think only one of us should be angry at a time, and I have a hunch it's gonna be me.

Dana: You're breaking off the engagement because I wasn't mad enough when I found out you were sleeping around? Let's do the whole thing all over again and this time I'll beat the living crap out of you.

Casey: Who knows with Dana? One day she's up, another day she's down. The girl's nuttier than a squirrel's cheeks in October. The point is, she's standing right behind me, right?

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