Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Praying for Miracles

I often feel conflicted about how we are supposed to pray. If we ask God for something, all the while expecting not to get it, that shows a lack of faith. But if we ask for something and expect - even know - that it will happen, that feels like putting God in a box, like some genie in a bottle we can command.

Last night I fell on my knees and prayed for a miracle; a true miracle. My friend Sunday had a brain aneurysm on Sunday and was life-flighted to Baylor Univ Medical Center. By the time I heard about it on Monday he had no brain activity and they were waiting on his family to arrive in order to take him off of life support. The nurses said they had never seen anyone come back from that much damage.

And so Facebook exploded with prayers begging for a miracle.

I begged God to heal Sunday, and I found myself trying to convince Him why it was best for him. Oh, human arrogance... I was so sure it would work because a miracle this big could not be denied - think of the power of that message! It would practically be a modern day Lazarus, and with Sunday's popularity the story would have spread across the world quickly.

A few hours later I found out that Sunday had passed. I was determined to have faith in the miracle I requested, but also to accept any outcome as God's will. Praying for a miracle often feels helpless, and prayer should never feel hopeless.

One miracle I can say I witnessed: I have never seen so many heartfelt prayers and messages in my Facebook feed, and it warmed my aching heart. We don't always get the miracle we asked for, but we usually get one if we open our eyes to see it.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Week 15

I'm almost done with 15 weeks of being preggo. I have to say, so far the second trimester is my favorite. I still don't feel great all of the time, but it is more headache/dizziness and less... tumultuous tummy.

By the way, my mother-in-law has informed me that "men have bellies, mommies have tummies". I thought that was really cute, but if I'm honest, I'll cal it whatever-I-damn-well-please-thank-you-very-much. *^_^*

I'm only just starting to feel like I have a "bump", and it isn't obvious unless I'm wearing something fitted or if my tummy is bare. Every night when I get into pajamas I just kind of stand in front of the mirror, hold my tummy and just stare for a bit. Brad loves it.

My I just take a moment, by the way, to brag about my incredible husband? I don't know that I've ever known a more *thoughtful* man. I am truly blessed to have him and to be his.

I'm taking half a day of work off today to go shopping with the MIL and with Vicki (who still doesn't know because we have had trouble getting a hold of her). We'll lunch and then shop in Pearland; I never really spend time down there, but that main intersection at Mccard has so much STUFF, I'm sure we will keep plenty occupied. ; )

This week at work has been very stressful, and I imagine next week will be as well, though with (hopefully) less late hours. Fingers crossed, prayers said.

That's it for week 15! Next week we have our next 4-week appointment, and then in October we find out the sex! Truly random sidebar: I really prefer to say gender for a numbe rof reasons, but *technically* what we're finding out is the sex. Gender apparently has more to do with the developed understanding of self... or something. I'm still going to call the upcoming shindig a Gender Reveal Party, because inviting your folks to a Sex Party just sounds wrong.