I often feel conflicted about how we are supposed to pray. If we ask God for something, all the while expecting not to get it, that shows a lack of faith. But if we ask for something and expect - even know - that it will happen, that feels like putting God in a box, like some genie in a bottle we can command.
Last night I fell on my knees and prayed for a miracle; a true miracle. My friend Sunday had a brain aneurysm on Sunday and was life-flighted to Baylor Univ Medical Center. By the time I heard about it on Monday he had no brain activity and they were waiting on his family to arrive in order to take him off of life support. The nurses said they had never seen anyone come back from that much damage.
And so Facebook exploded with prayers begging for a miracle.
I begged God to heal Sunday, and I found myself trying to convince Him why it was best for him. Oh, human arrogance... I was so sure it would work because a miracle this big could not be denied - think of the power of that message! It would practically be a modern day Lazarus, and with Sunday's popularity the story would have spread across the world quickly.
A few hours later I found out that Sunday had passed. I was determined to have faith in the miracle I requested, but also to accept any outcome as God's will. Praying for a miracle often feels helpless, and prayer should never feel hopeless.
One miracle I can say I witnessed: I have never seen so many heartfelt prayers and messages in my Facebook feed, and it warmed my aching heart. We don't always get the miracle we asked for, but we usually get one if we open our eyes to see it.