Thursday, February 21, 2008

Inspiration without Perspiration

I consider myself very blessed. I have achieved and been given a lot of great things in my life. I am easily inspired. A good book, an encouraging story from a friend, a great sermon; I am lit on fire! I have spent a great deal of my adult life planning great things.

Here is the part where you ask how many of those great plans came to fruition... wait for it: Not very many...

I am lazy. I missed the go-getter gene, or more likely, Alex took it all from the womb. He is just packed FULL of go-getter, and I am stuck with "But it is all the way over theeeeere...".

I was really hoping that my B-12 shots would help with this. To be fair, I need to be more patient with it. But with ADD, patience turns into "What was I talking about?"

Then, in addition to those issues, I stand in my own way. I am really good at convincing myself not to apply for greatness. What if I am never home? What if I fail? Or worse, what if I succeed?!? I dont really like responsability - there, I said it! If I work extra hard to get an advancement in my job, guess what- I get more work to do! I come home exhausted as it is, just from sitting at a desk staring at a computer all day. What if I had to work more hours? Overtime is great (I get paid time-and-a-half), but I would rather get a little extra sleep in the morning, or have dinner on the table when my husband comes home, or hell, sit around doing nothing and watch my shows!

I truly pray that I can learn to get out of my own way. It is different being married, because even when I could finally get off my butt and make a decision I have to consider if it is best for both of us. I love my husband, and I am so thankful to have him. I just have to stop making excuses and get things done!